(no subject)

22th February 2008.Friday.

z,merp,mutt,spidey,banks,gourmet jam and i headed down to da simpang for some good supper.
Upon arrival, we had to pick a table near our bikes to keep watch in case someone decides to jack the muddy fox again.

Most of us had the usual mushroom and cheese prata which we agreed was of no standard compared to the stall we usually eat from.


The cheese and mushroom in that roti has incurred his dissatisfaction. NORT HAPPY.

Looks like gourmet jam thought otherwise about Pattaya rice ( Nasi Pattaya).

Fried rice placed inside a omelette shaped like a pouch,made complete with chilli sauce,fried onions and slices of cucumbers as toppings. Swee ah!

After the meal we decided to do a little inflitration before settling down at a random coffeeshop for........


Same method of playing. Different kind of food.
Player with the lowest card gets to sniff some pepper!

Mang! Here goes.....


Sniff !!!!   LUCKY LUCKY...

Ohhh.. you are my drug babe. 

A few of us had breathing difficulties by the time the game ended.
Both satay man merp and i lost the most rounds. TOAST.


(no subject)

15th February 2008.Friday


Da rules: 

. Game must be played only after da players have just enjoyed a good meal.

. Only a stranger's supper leftovers can be used. ( Can be found in a rubbish dump or on random public tables.)

How to play:

Get a deck of cards. Players pick a random card from the deck. The player with the smallest card gets a DELIGHT 
POINT.( Ace being the smallest and king being the largest.) The game goes on until a certain player has collected 3 DELIGHT POINTS. That player WILL get to select and enjoy a piece of the leftovers through consumption.

Now you are ready to play!

( Warning! READER DISCRETION STRONGLY ADVISED. If you have something for fishballs or squid, we suggest you exit this page immediately.)

Leftover delight! Let da game begin!

Da cards were picked....

I was the 1st to receive 3 delight points. TOAST!

Mang! HERE GOES.ugh... feels slimy.

ARGH!!!! da fishball was cold yet chewy with a hint of spiciness to it.

uurggghh.... so much for delight.

Mr Mutt Markus making his choice from the tasty selection.

He chose the fishball! Looks like number 7 was his lucky number. toasty.

Lucky lucky.

z questioned the menu and got da exclusive piece of pork.


Mang!  What did i ever do to deserve da squid....

The game ended with these scores.

z: A piece of pork.

mutt: 1 fishball and a strand of noodle.

ghurt: 1 fishball, 1 squid and 1 piece of chilli.



(no subject)

January 22, Tuesday.

Singapore is generally hot and humid. It's warm and humid year round, with the temperature almost never dropping below 20°C (68°F), even at night, and usually climbing to 30°C (86°F) during the day. Recent times, it even reached till 35°C.  Humidity is high, mounting over a 75% mark. 


Mang.I could literally toast some bread on my window sill. Da baking heat was toasting me. Nort good.i needed to find a way to cool down.FAST. Even da kaya toast i ate for breakfast was nort helping to brighten my mood.

I remembered this really cool pool in my friend's neighbourhood which he frequently bragged to me about when we were still in kindergarten. It was supposedly overan with hordes of hot jies jies. MANG....

So z and i decided go there for a nice swim. Fully geared with trunks and some toast in our lunch boxes, we arrived at da pool with smiles on our faces. :) 



TOAST.We were devastated. :(

We went all da way there.There was no way we were leaving without a SWIM.
Da main entrance was locked.Its border was fenced up and barb wired.That left us in a toast.We considered a kamikaze jump from da nearby carpark into da pool. Thankfully, Lady Toast thought otherwise. She granted us an alternative entrance.

Oh yeah.

We were in.Mang! I could not wait any longer,the heat was driving me nuts.i needed my swim.I charged to da nicest looking pool and jumped in.


Swee swee,but it was deep.I would surely drown.

mang! I then realised that i forgot to change into my swimming attire.Off to the changing room where z was already getting himself prepared.

I could not bring myself to change into my swimming attire.Da changing rooms had no doors.I want some privacy mang! So both z and i decided to swim with clothing on.
In all my excitement,i failed to notice that i had actually used da female changing room until i got out. toast...
I proceeded into da kids' pool as it was shallower and surely much safer.

It was strange. i did not seem to be moving at all even though i was swimming freestyle, and the pool felt as though it was at boiling temperature.Very strange.

If u poo in da pool, it probably ends up here.

In the meantime,z spotted some diving boards at da deeper pool and was starting to feel really stoked.

Mang! He had to take a dive.

View from da top.


At the crucial moment  z suddenly remembered that divers were not suppose to wear any form of clothing while diving and decided to abide by the rules. z was sad,but some rules were not meant to be broken due to possibility of dire consequences.

I was getting nowhere in da kids' pool but somehow i started to feel a little more confident. Confident enough to handle da deep pool.But first...

I needed to get a float.

mang! i saw this beautiful mural painted outside the changing room while making my way to da deep pool.

They say time flies when you are having fun. i was not particularly having fun.I still could not move an inch even though i was swimming for my life. STRANGE. Backstroke,freestyle,breast stroke,butterfly,etc. I tried everything,but yet three hours had already passed since we reached. It was getting late. Time to leave.

We took da easiest way out.

Well...it was a nice trip to da pool,but somehow i felt toasted and hotter than before.Strange.



(no subject)

 17th January Thursday.

z,mutt and i were supposed to meet up at midnight for some good eating at pasir ris central,but mutt was late and i already ate,so our mate z was the only one who had a good meal at central.

There is a place in pasir ris that is rumoured to be haunted.It is located barely five minutes from our cribs,so we decided to check it out.

Upon arrival,we noticed that the gates were locked but part of the fence was down.Getting in was goin to be EZ PZ.
BUT... There were da guardians.


After mutt tried to make made his point clear to da guardians that we meant no harm,we were able to move in without much worries.

Da red house.

Dubious.Da house did not look very red,but it was swee nonetheless.

Da courtyard was swee swee.

We had to check out da interior.

Oh yeah. Entry please.

Mang! Check out those fancy doors.Nice.

Looking good. Da corridor was looking really inviting.

But on to da main attraction.

DA TUB. mang! Anyone fancies a rub in da tub?

Looks damaged.Be prepared to pump your dump by hand if you ever find the need to use da bowl.

Da place is beautiful.Mang!

An indoor garden.WILD!

After checking out most parts of da place,we decided it was time to get out.It was good while it lasted.
The chalets nearby simply pale in comparison to da red house.

After leaving da place,we went for some cheap and good drinking at elias mall before heading back to our cribs.

(no subject)


TOq SEKRIT bum and retarded moments special.

“I got attention by being funny at school, pretending to be retarded, and jumping around with a deformed hand.”  - Leonardo DiCaprio.

Dr D.

Mee Pok! Nice to eat huh... huh..

ah crap. smoke in ma eyes... ma eyes...



Merps nort happy. NORT HAPPY AT ALL.


SAY CHEESE!  Say tard.

mang... iam starting to regret doing this special already....


??? ball ball?? i want ball ball... Must get the ball ball...

Danone cookies. A bum's all time favourite.

Bum in heaven.

What the hell mang. WHAT THE HELL.


50 cents barley is da bum's drink.

If mr chop chop can cook. So can you.

Mang! Well before we come to an end,lets take a look back and decide who gets the ULTIMATE TARD AND BUM AWARD.

Da award goes to......


Well.If you out there would like to protest the result, TOq SEKRIT welcomes all comments and will gladly consider your valuable opinion.


(no subject)

4th December 2007


z,lady boss and i decided to hit da grange road mansions.
We took the mrt to somerset and walked.We were at the entrance in 5 mins.EZ PZ. To think that we actually could not find da location the last time.noob.
Welcome.entry please.

Based on research,there were 3 mansions.Fer some reason,we only saw 2,so we decided to check out the smaller 
mansion first.
mang! Swee-swee on da outside.
Shit on da inside.

Toast. I believe it used to be swee on da inside too,but that place seriously needs some maintenance now man.Every part of da mansion seems to be falling apart. Buay sai lar liddat.I walk around inside da mansion oso kia. http://www.talkingcock.com/html/lexec.php?op=LexView&lexicon=lexicon
Level 2 looks good.

So up we went. There were holes everywhere.We had to watch our step while shooting at da same time.Nasty.


Roof access.Nice.

hmm,could catch a movie after this.

After we covered most of da first mansion,we decided to get out and move to da second one.

z mantis.

BUT.... we saw some banglas near da second house.mang! Looks like they made da mansion their home.Getting in would be hard.True enough we were confronted by one of them when we got close.

Bangla: 'errr..here cannot take picture.'

Ghurt: ' ok.just looking around.' 



We were in.
We stealthed up da stairs to level 2. SMOOTH.

Level 2. da place was huge.

Da corridor.

Mang! I like that chair.But its NORT mine. I AM DEFINITELY STARTING TO FEEL GREEN.

HULK SMASHED. Looks like da owner did not like his bathtub and sink too much.Sad.Maybe he was sick of everything looking GREEN.

OMG! WTF IS THAT?! oh oh.... its jus lady boss. scared the shit outta me man.

Agent z looked like an interested buyer of da mansion.He was checking out da goods.

After exploring da whole place,we decided to make a quick escape.

We were almost out.HAHAHA.

Oh yeah. We managed to escape safely without being detected.

So as an overall,i feel that da grange road mansions are definitely worth visiting at least once if you are into photography or merely want to check da place out.

Ah yes.Last but not least,we found this important message in one of da mansions that CANNORT be ignored.

Time to take out those g benangs from your closet again people.





View Road Hospital

1975: The first batch of 35 patients set foot in View Road Hospital, a psychiatric facility with 250 beds for the rehabilitation of patients with chronic schizophrenia. http://www.imh.com.sg/corp_info/history.htm

27 November.Tuesday.

We researched.We knew how to get to da spot. There was a worry that was bothering me though.
Da security. It was said da hospital had extremely tight security ( security cameras,watchman,alarms.etc).
So we were expecting sh*t to happen. z was starting to feel it before we even got there.

View road. chiong ah.

We reached da gate in 5 mins.Mang! Look at THAT hole! EZ PZ entry.

Man.Now that looks like a nice place to live in. cuckoo cuckoo.$%&# @

Checking in at da lobby. Entry pleease.

Our stay at da hospital was comfortable so far.Even the couple of cee cee tee vees on the exterior of the building did not deter us.SMOOTH.

Welcome ah. We got many many rooms for you to choose.

Looks good.Got mini dividing wall some more.

Mang! There can be no better courtyard than this!

The 1st level was impressive, but we tried not to let ourselves get too comfy, so off to level 2.

Wah.This has got to be DA ROOM.Good sunlight.Excellent window view.It even comes with a fan. I was definitely starting to feel at home.

They were checking us out.

After checking out most of da rooms,we proceeded to da roof for some graate scenery.

It's me?! man.that is so NORT good.

Now now... What do we have there? Looks like a room on top of da hill. Lets toast.

Down da stairs.

We were going to check out da house on da hill,but got distracted by a room on da 1st floor.We had to check it out.

holy cow.

Well, we did not have any gas masks,so we went ahead into da room.Damn....Da room was huge and pitch black,couldnt see nuts.It felt like no one had entered da room for years, even the air smelled ancient..

Man.da smell was driving me bonkers.

So we got out and proceeded to da room on da hill.

lan eh.da stairs was a killer.

The door of da room was closed.No choice,had to push it open.Then.......
It started raining lizards.. &#$@%&!
Apparently,they were resting on top of the door when I forced my way through. NASTY.

Da room was disappointing.It was almost empty except for a sewage hole on da floor.

Well,at least there was a good view of da hospital.

All good things must come to an end and we decided to check out as it was getting late.We would have loved to stay but they did not have beds in da rooms. :( 

Special report:
TOq SEKRIT looks forward to welcoming dr D back into da team later in the evening. TOAST.

(no subject)

23rd November. Friday.

We welcome back a team mate whose skills have been greatly missed during his period of absence.


We went for a good eating at simpang, ordered the usual rotis and fed like kings.BUT NO.. we did not order satay. We already have da BEST.

After da meal, we headed down to merp's underground crib for some water warriors action. 

Wet your pants already.

Agent mutt was taking no chances.

Bandit z is leaving no survivors.

Terror merp was back with a vengence.

Sneak attack. BAD MISTAKE. No one shoots terror merp in da face.

Agent mutt was battling to the death with terror merp.

i was vaporizzzzed.

It was futile.Merp was PWNING. 

Drenched and in low health,we headed back to merp's home base for a couple of health packs before heading back to own cribs. TOAST.

0212a warriors.


(no subject)

16th November 2007. Friday.

It was a night open to options.
There was no specific plan, so mutt,z and i intercepted clarie ( lady boss) and special guest gourmet jam with bikes at simpang bedok for some good eating.

Special report:

Having da cash and food,what more can one ask for in life.   BAGUS!   PANTARAM!    好吃!

Pineapple rice: 3 stars
For $4, you can get a plate of pineapple rice containing whole and juicy pineapple chunks bursting with flavour and (what else can i say) PINEAPPLE GOODNESS! A perfect blend with soft and sticky rice grains that simply melt in your mouth. Pathetic serving for its price though.

Mushroom and cheese prata: 4 stars ( Recommended)
For $2, the mushroom and cheese prata is a good deal if you are looking for cheap and good eating.There is a generous serving of mushrooms and cheese under the prata's crispy exterior. And there is that curry, the combition of the prata and the curry is so good its sinful.MANG! It is surely prata at its best.

Roti John ( Available in different flavours): 3.5 stars
Another dish that is value for money. Satisfy that carnivore in you with da john's meaty goodness, at a price of $3.50 only! Flirt with the waiter and get a bigger serving! A must try if you are a fan of rotis or johns.

Ice lemon tea: 4 stars
What more can i say, its home-made! Only $1.20.

What are you waiting for? Head down to your nearest simpang bedok today for some good eating at good value. :)

After that excellent meal,mutt,z and i were feeling all satisfied and ready to proceed back to our cribs for some good sleeping. But da lady boss thought otherwise.., and jam was looking for a toast anyway.There was no room for arguments or protests, we had to obey da lady boss's requests. So, we were off for a ride to punggol.

Da ride was smooth,but our butts were sore by the time we reached punggol.We seeked a form of relief at a random cheers by getting some drinks and some time off our asses.After about 10 mins of mindless slacking outside the cheers we suddenly felt the black fury acting up in our bodies.There was a sudden form of excess energy running through our veins, we had to release it or risk going mad.

ninja eh.

yamakasi sia.

We stopped only after all that excess energy was depleted and our brains were back in working order.After some discussion, we decided to head to da matilda house.How can anyone go to punggol and not visit da matilda house man.

We reached our objective after a 10 mins ride.Parking our bikes by da road,we proceeded on the path that will lead us to da matilda.SMOOTH.
until..... argh...
my nike whites...
by gunk...

The path was muddy and gunky.But still we trudged on.Finally, we reached da matilda with crap all over our shoes. z even got a bonus worm. NICE.
Da fence surrounding da matilda was hardcore.Having been inside before,i decided not to risk my nike whites,so jam and i checked out the surrounding area of da matilda while z,mutt and clar proceeded over da fence into da house.

mutt was looking for a  feasible entry point beneath da house.

still searching....

MANG! da broken window was the entry point. Mutt moving in, followed closely by lady boss.

ghost is here sia. grammer best.

Holy shit. the last person who sat on this toilet bowl must have expelled corrosive waste. Nasty.

Probably used by the same guy hu used da bowl.

9200.You know you want to do it. go buy.

Mutt was trying to take the door down with some smashing and kicking action.retard.

mutt was looking under the skirt.erm.toasty floorboard.

Now now.. what do we have here. A di*k shaped hole on the floor. The guy who fell through probably had steel nuts man.RESPECT.

Over and out.

Dawn was breaking.

We decided to head back to beat the morning traffic,well that was the original plan,
until we found.....

mushrooms.. err..toadstools... spores. damn.. i... dont... know.

It was a huge bunch,really clustered.A really interesting sight.Most of us did not know what they were good for though.. so z kindly informed us that they were actually really good for kicking.



And so we ended our wonderful trip to punggol and proceeded back to our cribs.Points for mutt who completed the entire trip on the porygon ( not to be mistaken for the pocket monster). TOAST.

da matilda house.

Special note: Da mudday fox that got jacked was recovered and is safely back in our possession. The thief jacked it from outside z's house and locked the stolen goods under mutt's blk.What a STUPID NOOB.

bungla bunka busta

12 November 2007.

A mysterious bunka appeared out of nowhere overnight.
The drone that was dispatched to scout it only brought back one photo.

It is suspected to be of bungla origins, an assumption that is not yet confirmed.
A team consisting of a sniper,grunt and demoman will be dispatched soon, in an attempt to confirm this.

All threats encountered will be neutralized.
if the bunka is determined to be hostile. The team will sink it.

Special report:
There has been an increase in bike thefts in da area recently and it has greatly affected the execution of future TOq SEKRIT missions. Both da mudday fox and da specialised have been jacked in the span of a week. The culprits will be dealt with with the necessary damage if we can track them down.

stay tuned.